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Coping with grief at Christmas time - there's no right or wrong way
22 December 2008
Christmas is a joyous time for many as they gather with family and friends to celebrate the festive season.
But for people who are grieving, Christmas can be a difficult and isolating time.
While there is no easy way to cope with grief during Christmas, there are some measures that may help those who are grieving, and their loved ones, Hunter New England Health Social Worker Melissa Davis said.
“There is no right or wrong way to do things over Christmas,” Ms Davis said.
“You may want to say no to some invitations and that is okay.
“But it is also okay to enjoy yourself – laughter is not a sign that your loss is diminished.
“Spending time with people who care about you and allow you to express your feelings can be a positive thing for some people who are grieving,” she said.
Ms Davis said people should also remember that it is okay to want to be alone at Christmas time.
“Spending some time focusing on your own thoughts and the loss you have experienced can be helpful for some people,” she said.
“Consider doing something that honours the person who has died. This may include lighting a candle, visiting a meaningful place or buying a present for charity in their name.
“People who are grieving should try to avoid excessive consumption of alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant and it may not help reduce your grief,” Ms Davis said.
There are some practical ways that friends and family can help someone who is struggling with their grief:
· Don’t tell the bereaved person you ‘know how they feel’, even if you have been in a similar situation. People experience grief differently.
· Offer assistance. This might include helping with Christmas shopping or cooking a meal. Don’t wait to be asked – bereaved people are often very conscious of becoming a burden to family and friends.
· Keep in regular contact, even if they reject your offer. Continue to invite them to spend time with you, and let them know that you will be accepting of their decision.
Contact: Frances Holz
Phone: 4939 2216
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