Strong response to grief workshop

25 June 2007

Hunter nNew England Health’s Palliative Care Project Officer for Gwydir Shire, Angela Stones was more than pleased with the response to the palliative care workshops and community workshop on Spirituality, Grief, Loss and Bereavement held last week.

She said over 80 health care workers attended the two days of the Palliative Care Workshops in Bingara and Warialda, plus she had 34 people at the Community session in Warialda.

"Our guest speaker, Ian Nutley who is the General Manager and Training Officer for Burstow Funerals in Toowoomba, was fantastic. The feedback about him certainly indicates that he is a speaker we need to get back again.

"I had someone ring me after hearing the radio interview that Ian did yesterday and they said that they could relate to everything that he said. She said it really validated their grief, even though the death of their loved one happened more than 20 years ago," Angela said.

In terms of main messages from the community workshop, Angela said there were some key ‘take home’ messages that everyone could benefit from:

1. If you love someone/something and you lose it you will grieve for it, but there will be differences in how grief is manifested by different people. Therefore everyone has the right to experience their own unique grief. It is normal and healthy to express those intense and painful emotions that are related to loss.

2. You will never ever ‘get over’ the loss. However you will learn to accept it, adapt your life around it and you will survive. The painful feelings will diminish with time.

3. It is important to grieve successfully, otherwise a bereaved person may be more prone to both physical and psychological illness.

4. As people mourn the loss of a loved one, they should reach out to others. However, they should not feel obligated to accept unhelpful responses that some people may give. People who mourn, have certain ‘rights’, which no one should attempt to take away from them.

Angela said she has a copy of "The Mourner's Bill of Right's" by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. which Ian Nuttley gave her to hand out to those people who may want it.

"It is a list intended both to empower people to heal and to decide how others can and cannot help. I found these notes most helpful," she said.

Anyone wising to receive a copy of these notes are invited to contact Angela on 6728 0109 (Bingara) or 6728 9000 (Warialda).